Title: Distraction
Author: Moonloon
Rating: NC17
Feedback: maryavatar@gmail.com
Website: Amused and Abused
Note: This was written for Pegasus B, a collaborative alternate universe based on Livejournal

Distraction

Rodney's annoyed, not jealous. How could be possibly be jealous? He's seen Daniel do this over and over again. Of course, he's not usually sitting six feet away in a briefing with his ass still stinging slightly while Daniel makes moo-eyes at some completely inappropriate guy. Usually he's in Toronto and Daniel is in Cairo, or he's in Moscow and Daniel is in Chicago. He usually only feels a faint sense of impending doom.

It's just that Daniel has always been there, even when they were both involved with other people. Daniel is a constant in Rodney's life, right from their first time... his first time, up until Colonel I'm-Damaged-Fix-Me swaggered into view.

He should just ignore it; concentrate on what he actually came here to do, instead of Daniel's soap-opera love life. Maybe spend some time luring John back into his bed, just the two of them this time. Eventually Daniel will get over O'Neill, and come back, and Rodney doesn't care if it's before or after Daniel ends up in O'Neill's bed.

Well... okay, maybe he does care, but he doesn't mind , exactly. Only in so far as anticipating the amount of fallout produced. Which is always spectacular; emotional train-wrecks seem to be Daniel's signature move.

And it's not like spending time with John would be taking second-best. John is... far more appealing than Rodney expected. And mind-bendingly tight. And flexible. And insatiable. And he's not going to think about fucking John while he's supposed to be concentrating on what Elizabeth is saying. She's got this look on her face like she knows half the men the room are doing each other, and thinks it's unprofessional.

Of course, she might just be annoyed that she wasn't invited. No, bad mental image. Or rather… quite a good one, but not the sort of thing you need to have floating around in your brain when you're supposed to be listening attentively about the latest Genii threat.

Rodney's baser instincts win out, as usual, so he tunes out the drone of Elizabeth's voice, and instead pictures her in his bed, wrapped around Da… no, wrapped around John . That's a very pretty picture: they're both slim and dark haired, and look rather alike if you squint. Now that adds an interesting incestuous little kink into the equation.

They'd have their legs tangled together. Rodney's always been a leg man, and both John and Elizabeth have really great legs: long and toned, without being bulky...

"Do you have anything you'd like to add, Rodney?"

Oops. Rodney has no idea what he's just missed. "I'm sure if I did, I'd have said it by now." That came out snippier than it should, but it's not like being snippy is unusual.

"Very well then. Dismissed." Elizabeth leaves, and Rodney is surprised at how such a dainty-looking woman can stomp so effectively. Daniel is already out of his seat and heading towards O'Neill, and Rodney would like to interrupt them, but standing up right now would give everyone the idea that he really likes Elizabeth's briefings.

The room slowly empties, and Rodney pretends to check something on his laptop.

"So… what were you thinking about?" Sheppard asks as he slides into the seat next to him.

Rodney smirks. "You don't want to know."

"Maybe I do. It looked pretty good whatever it was."

Rodney checks the briefing room. Grodin and Zelenka are way over by the door, but apart from that, he and John are alone. Pitching his voice so that it doesn't carry, he says, "I was imagining you fucking Elizabeth Weir."

John's eyes go very wide. He doesn't blush though. That's something Rodney really likes about John: nothing ever fazes him. He comes up against something unexpected, and he just shrugs his shoulders and carries on.

"You were in my bed," Rodney adds, "Elizabeth had her legs wrapped around you, and you were making that little 'um um' noise you make when things are starting to get good."

John clears his throat. "I always imagined Elizabeth as more of a girl-on-top sort of person."

"Ah, but if she was on top, I wouldn't be able to climb up behind you and play with that tight ass of yours." Oh yes, that would be good. Time to expand on the fantasy? "Elizabeth hooked her heels under your thighs and pulled your legs apart. Then she grabbed your ass and held you open for me."

"Very, um… helpful of her."

"Oh yes. But she was impatient to get to the main event, so I didn't spend much time getting you ready. A quick swipe with some lube and then I pushed right into you."

John blinks. "Ow?"

"Just a little, you were already fairly relaxed. Besides, you needed to cool down, and it's not like you'd soften much with Elizabeth all warm, wet and wrapped around your cock."

"Good point. And then?" John is starting to sweat, and Rodney decides it's maybe a bad idea for them to do this in public.

"And then we fucked like crazed mink. Afterward you both vowed to worship me as a god. The End."

"Rod-neeeey!" John whines.

A laptop is very handy for covering bulges, Rodney reflects, as he smirks and gets up to leave. John struggles out of his jacket and uses that as camouflage, although it's not like anyone would be fooled, particularly when you take the sweat and wild-eyed expression into consideration.

"Damn it, Rodney. I'm supposed to be taking Puddlejumper Three over to the mainland in half an hour."

Rodney's smirk widens into a full-blown grin. "I've heard cold showers are very effective. Personally I prefer to jack off, but you really don't want to sweat up your shirt any more than it already is if you're going to be shut up in a Puddlejumper with...?"

"Lieutenant Ford and Teyla."

Rodney tilts his head to one side, as if he's thinking it over. "Actually, they probably wouldn't mind. You smell pretty good covered in layer of I-just-came sweat. They might even like it." A bad little thought crosses Rodney's mind. "Ford and Teyla, hmm. They're both very... fit, aren't they?"

"Rodney!" John's voice sounds a little strangled now. "You fucking bastard."

"I told you you didn't want to know." Rodney aims himself at his lab and walks off, calling over his shoulder, "Come see me when you get back from the mainland, I've got some Ancient devices that are a little difficult to activate. I'd appreciate your help."

A pained groan is all the reply Rodney gets. He'd have been happier if they could have gone to his quarters right now, but this gives him something to look forward to. Yes, John is definitely not the consolation prize for the love-lorn.

And he barely notices when he passes Daniel and O'Neill deep in conversation, and standing slightly too close together, in the corridor.