Title: Jumper Crumpet
Author: Moonloon
Rating: PG
Feedback: maryavatar@gmail.com
Website: Amused and Abused
Disclaimer: Lets all sing the the 'They're Not Mine!' song.

"Is that what I think it is?" Sheppard asked, as they climbed over a reed bed.

"If you think it's a giant hippopotamus, then yes," McKay said.

"Oh. Right. Giant hippo. Trying to have sex with the Puddlejumper."

"Don't worry, the Puddlejumper is very robust. I think it'll survive."

Sheppard flicked a quick glance at McKay. "Yeah, the Puddlejumper will be fine. I'm not so sure I'll be. How am I supposed to fly it when I know it's been molested by a hippo? One minute we'll be flying home, and the next thing you know I'll think 'Oh my God, hippo sex!' and we'll fall out of the sky."

"Stop watching it then." Sheppard could hear McKay grinning.

"I can't," Sheppard wailed. "It's like… those annoying tilting sand pictures. Or daytime television. Or a really nasty car crash. You know you have no good reason to watch it, but it's just… there, and you can't look away."

"Well, I don't advise trying to scare the hippo off: if it's anything like the Earth version, it'll probably try to stamp us into human gumbo. We should just wait until it's finished and hope it wanders off."

"I knew I should have cloaked the Puddlejumper. Just because this planet doesn't have any sentient life doesn't mean it's safe ."

"It could be worse," McKay said, "We could be with Ford and Teyla." He nodded at the Puddlejumper. "They're inside."